This is not the Thanksgiving piece I intended to write, but this year I’m grateful and lucky simply to be alive. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times this fall. The first time I had double pneumonia. My lungs were a total white out when I was admitted. Lungs are supposed to be black on an x-ray, but mine were completely white and filled with fluid. No matter how much oxygen they gave me, I felt like I was suffocating.

The second time, one of my nurses saved my life because she noticed very quickly that my secretions – what I cough up – were getting too thick and had a blood tinge. I almost died during that hospital visit when my blood pressure dropped 80 points all the way down to 46, but I’m not ready to talk about that.

The third time I was hospitalized, Evan took my BP for morning vitals, and it was 72. He kept giving me midodrine to raise my BP, but it didn’t work. I was unconscious and Evan couldn’t wake me up for more than a second to answer questions like what my name was, so he called 911. I woke up in the ER. He explained why I was there. It is disturbing not to remember. I vaguely recall getting a CT scan, but it was like a dream.

I have a 10 cm wound from the rough treatment at the hospital. Evan and I are worried because I can’t feel anything at all on the wound, not even when Evan puts cream on it, and that is a sign of nerve damage. It’s getting wider and deeper every day. It’s a Stage 3 wound that is currently 3 cm deep.

I had planned to write Evan a letter of love and gratitude for my Thanksgiving post, but I’m exhausted so this will have to suffice:

Evan teaches me how to love every day. He has been taking care of me for 8 years without a break, and he is on call 24/7. There are no words to describe and thank him for the countless sacrifices he has made to ensure he gives me the best possible care. His love and devotion are almost beyond comprehension.

“Love is patient, love is kind…
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs…
Always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always preserves.
Love never fails.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This is perhaps the most loved section of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. Paul was writing about Evan. He just didn’t know it.