A few weeks ago, the 11th anniversary of my ALS diagnosis passed quietly. I am treading water as waves of end stage ALS symptoms hit me again and again. Holding onto my identity often feels impossible and irrelevant. I. Am. Exhausted. What does writing matter when I'm trying not to drown in an ocean of … Continue reading I’m Drowning! I Need You!
The Empty Chair
Dedicated to the grieving families of Seth Poling and Sandra W. Marlowe. May peace be with you. Does anyone ever sit in the place the missing loved ones had at the table? No. It will never just be a chair again. I had a place, you had a place, but that chair that was your … Continue reading The Empty Chair
Back to Basics: What I’m Grateful for This Thanksgiving
This is not the Thanksgiving piece I intended to write, but this year I'm grateful and lucky simply to be alive. I've been hospitalized 3 times this fall. The first time I had double pneumonia. My lungs were a total white out when I was admitted. Lungs are supposed to be black on an x-ray, … Continue reading Back to Basics: What I’m Grateful for This Thanksgiving
My Battle Against Bitterness
My application for the ALS drug Relyvrio was shot down by insurance a few days ago. There is no appeal process because patients who are on ventilators are not included in clinical trials. That means insurance can say it doesn't benefit us. It was very hard to get that news. They say I'm in the … Continue reading My Battle Against Bitterness
My FDA Advisory Committee NurOwn Statement
Dear Drs. Califf and Marks, I am a young woman living with ALS, and I am writing in strong support of the approval of the ALS treatment debamestrocel, which has proven to be both safe and effective in clinical trials. ALS is a brutal enemy. This equal opportunity killer destroys the nerves that allow us … Continue reading My FDA Advisory Committee NurOwn Statement
On My Husband’s 37th Birthday
"Nothing prepared me for the privilege of being yours." - Sleeping at Last, "Turning Page"2 What you have to understand about the way I love Evan is that I am desperate for him. I can't shut up about him, and I don't want to. People say that the sign of a strong relationship is that … Continue reading On My Husband’s 37th Birthday
Can AI Voice Cloning Be Used For Good?
Photo by Polina Kovaleva on Pexels.com I'm pleased to present the link to the story for which I was recently interviewed, "Can AI Voice Cloning Be Used For Good?" by Kaleef Starks, Mark Armendariz-Gonzales, and Clera Rodrigues. The interview focused on the changes ALS has caused in my communication, as well as my experience with … Continue reading Can AI Voice Cloning Be Used For Good?
My California Kitchen
Photo by Ella Olsson on Pexels.com This piece is about the last summer I could eat before losing the ability to chew and going on a feeding tube. Summer in Amber We held that whole summerIn our strawberry sticky hands,Trapped it in our tiny kitchenWhere sunbeams tangled with our legsAround too much furniture,Each piece an … Continue reading My California Kitchen
Every Breath You Take
"Every breath you take just proves how blessed you really are." - John Landry "This is Rachel Doboga's ventilator just after starting the nebulizer, and her oxygen is dropping to 95, now 93," Evan says, holding his phone up to film my ventilator readings. He stops filming and turns off the nebulizer. "My head is … Continue reading Every Breath You Take
The 4th of July – ALS Style!
This is a photo I took on our cross-country road trip just before we crossed the Mississippi River. Ever since we adopted dogs, I haven't been a fan of fireworks. They terrified Malka, our dog who passed away on September 26th, which was surprising because she was a fierce protector. She used to huddle with … Continue reading The 4th of July – ALS Style!
How I Live Now: Life With ALS 