Health Update: Facing an Old Enemy

First, I must thank you for your generous donations to Friends of Rachel after my call for help for respite funds for Evan in my last post, “Disappearing Act.” You teach me about generosity each time I ask for donations.

Now on to my health, mental and physical. Both are not good. I sleep 18 – 20 hours a day, which wreaks havoc on my relationships, and consequently my mental health. I am also incredibly anxious again, though this time Evan doesn’t have to coach me through brushing my teeth. Still, this a serious problem. I am wondering if I have general anxiety disorder. The good news is I have a therapist now to ask questions like that. He’s also going to help me write even when I am anxious. I have so much to share with you. 14 post topic ideas! But speaking of writing…

I have felt like such a failure for having a few weeks of clarity and peace during which I could write a post asking for financial help, then being too anxious again to write a simple thank you note. I have been worried you would feel like I used you. Just know that what is happening in my head is as real to me as a flesh and blood wound. I just can’t put a tourniquet on it.

I can make you a promise though. I will complete and edit old drafts for you while I learn to write while anxious. This way, you’ll know I haven’t forgotten you. I could never forget you, dear reader, not even on my most anxious day.

Signing off.

Your Rachel

PS It’s hard for me to publish and reply to comments, but I am reading them and I love them!

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