Tag! You’re It!

By Rachel Doboga

Evan started doing this thing a few years ago. I call it “love tag.” If he doesn’t kiss me when he leaves the room, normally if he’s in a big rush, he gives my upper arm a quick rub, says he loves me, and hurries off to answer a doctor’s phone call, sign for a delivery of my medical supplies, or prepare my meds so we’re on schedule.

Of course, as a quadriplegic I can’t tag him back, and he leaves too fast for me to even type “I love you” on my eye gaze computer so I have to make it up to him and tell him later. Since I am always the one who is “it,” for our 14th wedding anniversary I’m going to make it up to him tenfold!

10 Things I Love About Evan

1. The way he dances, especially to David Bowie and the White Stripes.

2. He never makes me feel embarrassed during toileting and is never grossed out by me. In fact, he still says I’m adorable and beautiful after this task!

3. He’s responsible. This one sounds boring, but wait, there’s more! When he saw a woman unconscious, vomiting on the sidewalk and no one stopping to help her, he was the only person who pulled over to intervene. He turned her head so she wouldn’t choke, revived her, and offered to call an ambulance. When she declined, he drove her home and watched to make sure she got safely inside. He’s a hero!

4. He’s a music library. I love the nights he plays DJ!

5. We’re a great team. Everyone at the hospital says that, but we were a great duo before we’d even heard of ALS. Evan would play guitar and I would sing for our families. Simon and Garfunkel, Fleetwood Mac, all the music we grew up with!

6. Evan is objectively the most handsome man in the world. I can’t resist those blue eyes, and that smile makes my heart bloom!

7. He is truly brilliant. He runs all my machines like a pro, even the nebulizer (he only had 10 minutes training on it) and the incredibly complex ventilator. All the respiratory therapists we’ve ever met say Evan should be a respiratory therapist, and I agree! Plus, he reads these gigantic, 1000 page history books I could never hope to follow – for fun!

8. He’s hilarious! He is silly, does impressions, and tricks my mom and me into believing outrageous stories about history. It works every time!

9. He’s crazy creative. Once, we were just hanging out when he left the room, disappeared into his office, returned with a pad of paper and a pencil, and silently got to work. When he was finished, he said the arrangement of my pill bottles reminded him of skyscrapers so he sketched them that way. The drawing was at once medications and a cityscape. It was truly striking.

10. He defines romance. He learns love songs for me on the guitar – “Something” by the Beatles was my favorite – and he even writes songs for me. Evan makes even the smallest, most boring moments romantic. Last night when he was getting me ready for bed and about to brush my teeth, he paused. He sat down beside me, put his phone on my pillow and turned on “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.” Then he quietly held my hand as we listened. When the song was over, he kissed my forehead and left to go get my toothbrush.

I am lucky Evan is my husband!

* I can’t post comments or reply to them, but I can read them and I love them. Keep writing!

If you have fond memories of Rachel as a teacher in her life before ALS, or if a post on this blog has ever moved you, please consider making a contribution to Rachel’s out of pocket caregiving fees, medical expenses not covered by insurance, and transportation costs through Friends of Rachel. From your PayPal account you can donate to FriendsofRachelDoboga@gmail.com

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