If we are going to do this, it has to be fast. I’m not in the driver’s seat anymore. Who knows how much time I have before It takes over again? It appeared without any known cause, but It acted fast. I wake up with a racing heart, overwhelmed by even the thought of brushing my teeth. Evan is the only thing It fears. Each morning he sits with me, rubbing my head and saying wonderful things to me, things like, “I love you more than anything in the entire universe, my beautiful, precious angel.” That’s only effective for so long after he leaves though. It is relentless. On my bad days, It doesn’t let me eat or sleep.
I have just been put on medicine for the anxiety. I hope and pray it works quickly. Until then, It will keep me silent. I can’t even answer the beautiful comments left by people like Nick and my friend with PRS. Oh, the anxiety is taking over. I have to –