Photo by Ella Olsson on Pexels.com This piece is about the last summer I could eat before losing the ability to chew and going on a feeding tube. Summer in Amber We held that whole summerIn our strawberry sticky hands,Trapped it in our tiny kitchenWhere sunbeams tangled with our legsAround too much furniture,Each piece an … Continue reading My California Kitchen
Tag: Fear
Every Breath You Take
"Every breath you take just proves how blessed you really are." - John Landry "This is Rachel Doboga's ventilator just after starting the nebulizer, and her oxygen is dropping to 95, now 93," Evan says, holding his phone up to film my ventilator readings. He stops filming and turns off the nebulizer. "My head is … Continue reading Every Breath You Take
My Depression Diary
3 4 4 4 2 Trigger Warning! Forward: When just over a month ago I sensed that my mind was changing, I was overcome with a frenzied need to record everything I thought and felt. Even before I understood that I was depressed, I realized I was going somewhere that outsiders could never truly visit. … Continue reading My Depression Diary
Unabridged: “Is Your Doctor Hurting Your Mental Health? Why You Need an Emotionally Intelligent Doctor and How to Find One”
3 3 2 If you are anything like me, you do a little research before choosing a doctor. Patients can easily learn about the traditional aspects of their doctor's qualifications, such as the college they attended, years practicing, and awards earned, with a simple Internet search. However, it's quite a bit harder to get a … Continue reading Unabridged: “Is Your Doctor Hurting Your Mental Health? Why You Need an Emotionally Intelligent Doctor and How to Find One”
Writing Through It
Ever since Donald Trump won the election, I am a stranger in a strange land. For our next leader, my country chose a man who personifies rape culture. My PTSD from when I was sexually assaulted is already severe because of him. Listening to him for the next four years and knowing he has power … Continue reading Writing Through It
Fortune’s Fool
When I was sixteen, a fortune teller at a fair predicted I would meet and fall in love with a man who would physically take care of me. At the time, I didn’t understand what she could possibly mean. Would I rely on my husband for money? I was hungry for independence and therefore a … Continue reading Fortune’s Fool
Demon in My View
Photo by Bob Clark on Pexels.com "I have not been as others were - I have not seen as others saw... When the rest of Heaven was blue of a demon in my view." Edgar Allan Poe, "Alone" I'm so sick of ALS. It is hitting me once again that this is my life, and … Continue reading Demon in My View
A Brave New World
On June 10, 2015, I shared this message with my loved ones… “Dear family and friends: I am so sorry to have to tell to you that today I was diagnosed with ALS. I am sad and scared, but also hopeful that I will live longer than the average ALS patient because mine is a … Continue reading A Brave New World
How I Live Now: Life With ALS 