Category: Medical Equipment

Far From FDR

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Lately, I’ve been worrying a lot about my identity. So much is changing at what feels like breakneck speed. My body in particular is alien to me. I swing between thinking I am an ALS research guinea pig, a robot incorporating new mechanisms to extend the life of what is clearly a junker, or, most recently, a plain old invalid.

My sister is not OK with this.

Me: Am I an invalid?

Laura: Rachel, what are you talking about? They haven’t had invalids since FDR. Besides, I don’t we are supposed to use that word anymore.

Me: Oh… then what am I?

Laura: What you’ve always been. You’re a woman with pursuits.

It was pretty unexpected, a little Victorian, and a lot perfect. I remembered then that I’m more than braces, machines,  and physical therapy exercises. Maybe I’m not exactly what I’ve always been like Laura said, but I’m also not less than I was. And as far as pursuits go, I still chase dreams. Now, though, I’m racing after them in a 400 lb vehicle… I like my chances.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: No offense intended towards FDR, who, according to my grandma, totally rocked.

 

Loud Mouth

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I have a big mouth. I wasn’t always this way. Somewhere along the line, though, I learned to talk back, something I’m especially good at when sticking up for loved ones. Even though I’m in a wheelchair and my voice is fading, I just had to say something when a man catcalled my sister Laura from his car and made her incredibly uncomfortable. As loud as I could, I let him have it in what Laura later called a “fun mix of feminist ranting and light swearing.”

Suddenly, the man drove off and Laura grabbed my wrist. “Rachel, the volume is all the way up!” she cried. I must have looked at her blankly, because she tapped the microphone at my mouth and scrambled to turn down the sound on my brand new ChatterVox voice amplifier. I totally forgot I was wearing it, and with the sound up so high, I might as well have shouted through a megaphone!

We hid by a big hydrangea bush and laughed so hard while families heading to the park and people coming home from work looked around for the crazy lady broadcasting obscenities up and down the block. I was just catching my breath when Laura said, “Well, you’re definitely still a teacher… I know those kids just learned some new words.” I started laughing all over again. She was right; I never could pass up a chance to give a vocabulary lesson.

Reality Check

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“Honey, whether or not you accept help doesn’t change the fact that you need it.”

 

I received this great advice from a nurse as I struggled to accept all the new braces I need to keep my feet flat enough to bear weight. As I try to maintain my independence, I know her words will be helpful to me.