In Which I Wet the Bed

As you may have gleaned from the title, I wet the bed. I felt the urge to go. Now. So I hit my alarm to let Evan know there was an emergency, but it was too late. I was peeing.

This disease leaves you nothing.

The smell and my tears let Evan know what was wrong. I felt heartbroken, ashamed… And such relief, as if I had been holding it for hours.

Evan kept saying “poor baby” and “my precious angel,” easing my fear that he would be disgusted at having to clean up my mess. I knew with a profound wave of absolute trust that he would take care of me, do everything I couldn’t ask and better.

I have a catheter now. I feel humble and ashamed every time he empties the bag.

4 thoughts on “In Which I Wet the Bed”

  1. kellykago says:
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    I’m sorry you have to experience this. Thank God you have a loving husband. I have a friend with a subrapubic catheter. She loves it. Maybe you can look into that. I have bulbar ALS. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. The losses are heart wrenching. Stay strong.

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  2. Susannah lints says:
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    I remember that day too well when my husband got a catheter because he couldn’t signal us quickly anymore. It is a devastating loss in degrees . Your piece made me tear up. You are a courageous soul to share your truth. Blessings to you and your family.
    Susannah

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  3. Leslie says:
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    Dear Rachel,
    I was diagnosed with ALS in June 2014. At that time I was given a visual of two white words… Acceptancepf the disease and Grace to guide me.
    A couple years ago I had a Suprapubic put in due to chronic UTI’s that caused constant loss of urine. I didn’t enjoy wearing & replacing “paper panties”,
    3 yrs ago when I fell and broke my ankle, my niece who is a nurse gave me a shower in my shower chair, I watched my humility wash down the drain. This is when those two white words showed me that this disease was going to continue to add to my vocabulary, next came Courage & Strenght….My Husband being my primary caregiver, I do have two partime caregivers. I have a Grateful Heart for the “Gift” that God has given those who care for others. “ “Do unto others as You would have them do unto you”……Peace 💜Love

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